February 2012
28 posts
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A Minnesota Nice Guide to the Twin Cities →
Today I get to brag about Minnesota on The Awl!
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WatchMy friend Bri and I have a thing for Bigfoot.
I don’t remember how it started but somehow in college we got onto this Yeti/Bigfoot thing and every time we went to the library we couldn’t stop talking about him (them?). One Halloween we were even going to go as a paranormal investigator (me) and Yeti (her), but Bri’s grandma wasn’t cool with her fur coat being utilized in...
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WatchI’d like to introduce you to my wives, Tegan and Sara. Look how cute they are in bandana headbands, singing house music!
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How much are you going to spend on birth control... →
“Just a few dollars.” - Rick Santorum
It’s like a super fun, horrifically expensive online calculator game.
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To The Males on Tumblr
and to some females too, though mostly it’s been men:
when you feel mad at Rihanna for collaborating with Chris Brown,
incredulous that a victim could return to her abuser, just like that,
shocked that she couldn’t be BETTER than that, and STRONGER,
and outraged that one young woman couldn’t be everything you wanted her to be,
I would refer you here, because you have some...
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Pan Am Recap: It Must've Been Love, But It's Over... →
Yesterday Rylee and I listened to “It Must’ve Been Love” (is that what that song is actually called?) in the car and she told me that she thought she’d be ready to date again when she can get through that song without feeling a twinge of sadness. I said I thought that sounded fair. This has been dubbed “The Must’ve Been Love Test.”
That song was in my...
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Cougar Town Recap: Predictably Sweet →
Cougar Town is back! Hey, one secret you might not know is that this is actually a nice and funny show, and not even about cougars at all. Courteney Cox is so great! Here is my recap of last night’s episode, which included *not really a spoiler because everyone knew* a proposal!
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Pan Am Recap: The Twilight Zone →
Last night’s episode of Pan Am, the last before the finale, was an episode originally meant to go much earlier in the season but pulled from its original slot. Someone thought it was a swell idea to just stick it on the end here, without explanation, even though literally EVERYTHING in this episode had already taken place, some time ago. This was not explained. PAN AM!!! You little...
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It's time for another round of "Who's That...
R: Who would you say is my biggest celebrity crush?
K: James McAvoy.
R: No...OH who's the guy from...3rd Rock From The Sun?
K: Oh my God. Joseph Gordon-Levitt.
R: Yeah!!!
K: Who do you think mine is?
R: Ummmmmmm who's that guy. Bradley.
K: Cooper? No.
R: Mulder.
K: That hardly counts.
R: Sean Penn.
K: WHAT??????
R: No, who's the guy from Gossip Girl?
K: Penn Badgley.
R: So, I got half the name right.
K: It's not him.
R: What's the guy from the pot movie?
K: James Franco. No.
R: Ugh. I give up.
K: From The Notebook?
R: Ohhhhh. THAT guy. Umm...
K: RYAN GOSLING. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.
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Rick Santorum Is A Dummy →
He reiterates that his concern is the protective instinct of males toward female comrades. He acknowledges that women are presently in combat positions in the Air Force and Navy. “But I don’t think you see the same problems [that servicemen] would find on the front line.” He says, “It’s not a matter of putting women in dangerous roles.” He tells me, for example, that women are fully capable of...
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Spinsters
R: Do you think that we're going to end up alone and living together for our whole lives because we'll never find love?
K: Probably.
R: They write books about women like that.
K: Who's "they"? Who are these women?
R: I don't know, I heard a thing on NPR once about two sisters who lived together forever.
K: So two people.
R: Well yeah! But there will be a book...or radio show...about us, at least.
K: I think I am much more likely to be the one alone. You have to visit me and the twenty dogs I'll have.
R: No, I think you'll meet someone in your field.
K: Mmhmm. Writing alone from home. Or at a feminist nonprofit.
R: You will! I can see him now in the office. He's sort of sensitive but really strong.
K: You are just making up a person. The office I'd work at would have NO men.
R: Well okay he's like a really hot cop....
K: This is just Bridesmaids.
R: ...and he'd be at one of the crime scenes where you're helping a victim...
K: I wouldn't be working at CRIME SCENES!!!!!!! You are literally thinking of Law & Order: SVU because we've been watching it so much.
R: Well.
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“This summer Tokyo’s supposedly oldest man, 111-year-old Sogen Kato, turned...”
– The Economist, 11/10
File under: ALARMING LINES IN SCHOOL-ASSIGNED READINGS
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R Makes A Dating Profile
R: OK, "Things I'm Good At." Mario Kart, Tetris, ping pong...
K: Are you gonna go exclusively with games on this one?
R: Volleyball.
...
R: Oh, dammit!
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“The shamrock shake is here.”
– TFMM (texts from my mom)
January 2012
41 posts
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We are going to the Grand Canyon
R: We could stop at a trading post!!!! There's a little trading post by the road here.
K: Could we buy beaver pelts?
R: Probably.
...
K: Wait, are you just Google Mapping the entire drive?!
R: Yeah. I'll just go through the whole thing on here and then I can be the tour guide when we're really driving there.
K: You're going to ruin the surprises!
...
R: You know, it's really not that far of a drive. I'm already in New Mexico.
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Reading Between The Texts: There's Been Some Kind... →
“BIG mistake. HUGE.” - Julia Roberts
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Steven just sent this to me. We don’t know who...
bobbyfinger:
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH
LANA DEL SUPPER
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Pan Am Recap: Robbery and Royalty →
Hey, I kinda liked this episode! Relatively speaking. Plus I have this weird feeling this could end up being the last one they ever air, and I feel weirdly somber about it. Don’t quote me on that, it’s just because 1) they didn’t show scenes from the next episode, 2) the next episode isn’t on until Feb. 12th, and 3) because the website description for that episode is...
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Extreme dating
R: I don't think I could date a pilot.
K: Why not? Because they'd be traveling all the time?
R: No because I'd be afraid they'd die everyday!
K: OH so it's ok to be scared if your boyfriend is a pilot but I can't be afraid to ever get on a plane???
R: Well your chances of dying would be WAY higher if you were a pilot.
K: Actually the chances of dying either way are pretty slim. Rationally I know that.
R: I mean it's just like bungee jumping. You shouldn't be scared to do it once but if your boyfriend went bungee jumping EVERYDAY, you'd just feel like, one of those times, his chute is not going to open!
K: That's...sky-diving.
R: Well, so, it's definitely not going to open.
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Cougar Town Returns February 14th →
One time I said, yes, I would LOVE to recap Cougar Town for Vulture, and thought I might kind of hate the show and it would be fun to hate it, but then I accidentally loved it. An embarrassing amount. Sometimes I tell people, “If I could, I’d have them shrink me down so small that I could live in your blood.” They don’t usually know what I’m talking about, haha...
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My brother reads me our instant Netflix options.
J: True Grit is NOT a conspiracy movie. Oh wait I'm reading that wrong.
J: This one is about the incredible journey of a turtle. It's called Turtle: The Incredible Journey.
J: This one's about Kim Cattrall as a sad has-been softcore porn star.
J: This one's about a womanizer who wakes up to find his testicles are missing.
J: You can't cast Liev Schreiber in romantic comedies because he looks like he's going to kill both those women.
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Pan Am Recap: Woman-Shaped Things →
So I know I’m literally the only person left watching Pan Am, but maybe you’d like to check in on this crazy train (or crazy PLANE, haha) anyway? Just to see what you’ve been “missing.”