October 2011
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I Think I'm Too Old To Party?
Last night my friends and I went out for Halloween and this is how that went:
- We called for a cab at 10 pm because we’re idiots who forget that it was Halloween weekend and also this is Minneapolis and cabs are like rare treasures when you need them around here.
- We waited for two different cabs until 11:15. Rylee was asleep on the couch. I told Colleen to call back cab company #1...
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I can't even with this right now. →
This tumblr asks AN IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION: “Is Ryan Gosling Cuter Than A Puppy?” (Yes.)
#tumblrsthatmakeyouwanttopressyourcheektoyourlaptopscreen
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Things To Do With Jeans That Are Too Tight in the...
1. Don’t buy them.
Haha, jk.
1. Buy them online, because stores don’t CARRY tall people jeans because WTF, why are you so tall.
2. Get them, try them on, walk one lap around the house in them and figure that they’ll stretch, because in your entire history of life ALL jeans have stretched, probably more than you’d even like them to.
3. These jeans are nicer than those...
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Possible good news for those of us who have... →
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That menstruation-synchrony stuff is real
K: My body is trying to remind me at night that my hormones want a boyfriend. I had a dream that I was dating Ben from Parks & Rec, and then this OTHER guy gave me a flower when I bought a sandwich from him.
R: Well MY body is trying to remind me at night that my boyfriend hates me and never wants to see me again. I dreamt that I went to his house because I found his phone and his aunt was like, "Thanks, but he isn't coming out ever again."
K: Oh no, did you call him this morning? I thought I heard something.
R [eating waffles]: Ugh, yeah. It's just like, when I'm crying for two hours, all I want him to do is tell me that he loves me.
K: Mm-hmm. I know.
R [eating chips and salsa]: Also, last night when I woke up to pee I scared myself because I was like wandering to the bathroom with the lights off and I was like, 'what if this is like Paranormal Activity, and I'm not in control of my body' ?
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WatchRachel Maddow I looooooove you.
“This is one of those moments in American politics when you look around and you realize, you know what? Politics is mostly guys. And the media is really mostly guys.”
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I think this is gross, I'm sorry
You know in all the TV shows and movies when a bloody nose is used to signify something BIGGER, like consumption/tuberculosis (Moulin Rouge), or that you have a little chip in your head through which aliens locate you and find you for abduction testing (Taken) ?
I have had two seriously bad bloody noses in the past week, and I’ve had my TB shots, sooooo….
*screaming*
No, just...
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Political Ben & Jerry's Flavors: 2011
meganamram:
Rick Berry
Malt Romney
Occu-Pie Wall-nut
Donut Ask, Don’t Caramel
ChocoPie GumBall Street
Women’s Right to Chews* (*Taffys)
Marshmell’ Bachmann
Marshmell’ Choc-mint
Troy Davis’ Capital PunishMint
Rick Santorum Is A Homosexual Assdouche Fudge Swirl
Snickerhead Ranch
Perfection.
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WatchRihanna is the prettiest ribbon-puker I have ever seen in my life. She looks good in bathtubs, too. And in every hat.
(Via)
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“I just want him to put candy in my shoes at night.”
– Rylee, w/r/t Ron Paul.
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Emily Weiss and I are at it again! →
Writing things for The Hairpin, that is. And giggling to ourselves over Google Docs chat. This time, we tackle movie reviews. What do they say, REALLY!?
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Some idiot on XOJane spreads (promotes?)... →
“2) Birth control pills. NO. They will make me fat; they will make me “spot” (another thing I squeamishly just DON’T LIKE TALKING ABOUT; don’t worry, though, everyone else who works here does); they will give me acne; and quite frankly, they will NOT prevent me from getting pregnant! I know this because IT HAPPENED TO ME™. No, I didn’t take my pills right; I...
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WatchWeird how some ladies are just better at things, like blinking. Or shaking their shoulders. Or doing literally anything in high heels. Or snapping! I couldn’t snap like that if I tried.
(Via)
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My latest Pan Am recap is up! →
Everybody goes to Paris and is just goddamn adorable.
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my parents are headed to England
Dad: Here we go. Love you.
Me: Have fun! Love you too. Text me if you can.
Dad: I just did.
Me: Dad!!!!!!
Dad: Omg what's wrong?
You: You did NOT just write "omg." ok bye. Love you.
Dad: Ttfn
