According to this article, I am bound for Human Resources, or else I will never amount to anything, and all this money and effort spent on college and my master’s degree will be for naught, and I’ll also die miserable and alone, etc. etc. etc.
If, like me, you would rather be a ruthless and omnipotent leader than someone concerned with her fellow employees’ “feelings,” then you should go back in time and be named one of the following: Deborah, Sally, Debra, Cynthia, Carolyn, Pamela, Ann, Cheryl, Linda or Janet.
Of course, this article is complete bullshit (“It may seem preposterous that a name could correlate to that key to the big office” - author of the article), and here’s why.
Certain names go in and out of popularity. There was a time in, say, the 1970s, when the above-listed names were probably super popular for little girl babies. When all those little Deborahs and Carolyns grow up and become the age one might expect for a typical CEO (like, 40-60), we see a larger pool of popularly-named job candidates than we do candidates with more unique-for-the-times names (like “Krystelle” or “Sageleaf” or “Ellessdee”). Thus, the fact that these names are “popular for CEOs” does not reflect any level of superior talent or qualifications among Janets and Sallys, but just the fact that they were popular names for the time. More Janets and Sallys all around means more Janets and Sallys making it to the top, and then ruling, brutally and unmercifully, over the lowly Philippes and Laurents of the world (no, but seriously, Phillipe and Laurent?). This article is founded on severe sampling bias, basically.
Mark my words: in thirty years, all the cool female CEOs will be named Tyler and Mikayla and Rihanna.
And in conclusion, friends, let this post be a lesson: never, even for a second, think of going to graduate school for a program that requires advanced statistics. You’ll look in the mirror, and you won’t know yourself. You won’t like what you see there. You’ll only be a shell.
From PerezHilton.com Posted by jerkstore on Wednesday, 1/21/2009, 11:21 PM “In my opinion Tina Fey completely ruined SNL. The only reason she’s celebrated is because she’s a woman and an outspoken liberal. She has not a single funny bone in her body.”
Huzzah for the Truth Teller! Women in this country have been over-celebrated for too long. Just last night there was a story on my local news about a “missing girl,” and they must have dedicated seven or eight minutes to “where she was last seen” and “how she might have been abducted by a close family friend,” and I thought, “What is this, the News for Chicks?” Then there was some story about Hillary Clinton flying to some country because she’s secretary of state. Why do we keep talking about these dumdums? We are a society that constantly celebrates no one but women and it must stop! I want to hear what the men of the world have been up to. What fun new guns have they invented? What are they raping these days? What’s Michael Bay’s next film going to be?
When I first set out to ruin SNL, I didn’t think anyone would notice, but I persevered because - like you trying to do a nine-piece jigsaw puzzle - it was a labor of love.
I’m not one to toot my own horn, but I feel safe with you, jerkstore, so I’ll say it. Everything you ever hated on SNL was by me, and anything you ever liked was by someone else who did it against my will.
Sincerely, Tina Fey
P.S. You know who does have a funny bone in her body? Your mom every night for a dollar.
Braintwin would like to introduce a new addition, Ms. KTHeaney! She is surely going to be a prominent guest (we hope). Smart, witty, snarky, irreverent (in a good way), KT is not only a personal bestie but also an original Braintwin. Check her out on her blog, http://shutuptellme.tumblr.com….
Customer review - D said: ”As I type the tears are streaming down my face. Thank you and please, thank Mike for me. He needs to know what he’s done for me. I am not alone. Someone else has been there, too. Someone else has felt their joy, sorrow and mirth as strongly as I have myself. Someone else has felt the deep sense of peace they somehow gift you with, should they decide they like you. I feel vindicated and cannot thank you both enough. I feel as if this book was written specifically for me.”