“I wouldn’t say I want her to DIE necessarily, but like, it would be great if she saw a really bad murder and had to be relocated to Alabama with the Witness Protection Program.” —my friend Emily, on People We Don’t Like
I Am Staying at My Parent's House and I Feel Like There's a Mouse in the Kitchen
- Parents: We're going to bed.
- Me: Did you put out a mouse trap??
- Dad: No but I did leave him a small note telling him where your bedroom is.