January 2012
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We are going to the Grand Canyon
R: We could stop at a trading post!!!! There's a little trading post by the road here.
K: Could we buy beaver pelts?
R: Probably.
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K: Wait, are you just Google Mapping the entire drive?!
R: Yeah. I'll just go through the whole thing on here and then I can be the tour guide when we're really driving there.
K: You're going to ruin the surprises!
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R: You know, it's really not that far of a drive. I'm already in New Mexico.
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Reading Between The Texts: There's Been Some Kind... →
“BIG mistake. HUGE.” - Julia Roberts
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Steven just sent this to me. We don’t know who...
bobbyfinger:
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH
LANA DEL SUPPER
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Pan Am Recap: Robbery and Royalty →
Hey, I kinda liked this episode! Relatively speaking. Plus I have this weird feeling this could end up being the last one they ever air, and I feel weirdly somber about it. Don’t quote me on that, it’s just because 1) they didn’t show scenes from the next episode, 2) the next episode isn’t on until Feb. 12th, and 3) because the website description for that episode is...
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Extreme dating
R: I don't think I could date a pilot.
K: Why not? Because they'd be traveling all the time?
R: No because I'd be afraid they'd die everyday!
K: OH so it's ok to be scared if your boyfriend is a pilot but I can't be afraid to ever get on a plane???
R: Well your chances of dying would be WAY higher if you were a pilot.
K: Actually the chances of dying either way are pretty slim. Rationally I know that.
R: I mean it's just like bungee jumping. You shouldn't be scared to do it once but if your boyfriend went bungee jumping EVERYDAY, you'd just feel like, one of those times, his chute is not going to open!
K: That's...sky-diving.
R: Well, so, it's definitely not going to open.
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Cougar Town Returns February 14th →
One time I said, yes, I would LOVE to recap Cougar Town for Vulture, and thought I might kind of hate the show and it would be fun to hate it, but then I accidentally loved it. An embarrassing amount. Sometimes I tell people, “If I could, I’d have them shrink me down so small that I could live in your blood.” They don’t usually know what I’m talking about, haha...
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My brother reads me our instant Netflix options.
J: True Grit is NOT a conspiracy movie. Oh wait I'm reading that wrong.
J: This one is about the incredible journey of a turtle. It's called Turtle: The Incredible Journey.
J: This one's about Kim Cattrall as a sad has-been softcore porn star.
J: This one's about a womanizer who wakes up to find his testicles are missing.
J: You can't cast Liev Schreiber in romantic comedies because he looks like he's going to kill both those women.
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Pan Am Recap: Woman-Shaped Things →
So I know I’m literally the only person left watching Pan Am, but maybe you’d like to check in on this crazy train (or crazy PLANE, haha) anyway? Just to see what you’ve been “missing.”
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SimplyNoise Reviews, in Order of How Soon the... →
Someone ought to check on these people. And maybe their basements.
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Celebrities and Their Former-Life Lookalikes →
THIS ONE!!???
The Chris Cooper, Tommy Lee Jones, and Hugh Grant ones are particularly enjoyable as well.
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Today is the first time I’ve eaten meat/fish in five years and two months. I’m eating a tuna fish sandwich. The tuna, at least, is wild caught and “dolphin safe,” which probably means something to do with the netting, but I’m picturing dolphins swimming alongside the tuna being caught, nodding and being like, “this is cool with us.”
Old me would have...
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Dream Situation (ahahahahahaHAHAHA)
R [playing Mario Kart online]: Pauly D is playing!!!
K: Haha that would be so cool if it were really him.
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R: WHAT, SNOOKI IS PLAYING TOO!! She's really bad though.
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R: I know this would never happen but it would be really cool if on an episode of Jersey Shore they showed them playing and talking about how this girl Rylee kept beating them.
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R: That's like my dream, I think.
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My recap of last night's Pan Am episode is up.... →
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All The Things I've Wanted To Be
1. A mermaid.
But with a removable tail.
2. Belle, from Beauty & The Beast.
The bookiest of Disney princesses.
3. Robin Hood (self-explanatory).
4. A writer.
I only thought so just briefly, that first time, but I filled in these DIY children’s books when I was little and my mom says she always figured I’d end up writing.
5. A fashion designer.
This one lasted longest. When...
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This just in:
C: OMG, ________ is pregnant!
K: Who the f is that, I've never heard of that person.
C: Oh yeah me neither really. She went to college with us, I thought maybe you had met her. Basically she's nobody but she's having a fucking baby.
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Mayans, you cryptic assholes.
Last night I went out to dinner with my bestie Emily and we were worrying about the end of the world, because although neither of us are really superstitious, we both actually are. Emily asked our dumb waiter (he was really dumb), “So, what’s the deal with the Mayan calendar in 2012, do you think?” And he nodded and squinted and said “Yeah....
