The Essential Pocket Guide to Monster Survival, on... →
There are some really excellent pictures and links in here. You could spend your whole afternoon researching astral spiders and drop bears, it’s going to be great.
Q. What are the rules of giving my older gadgets (i.e. older iPods, iPhones, etc.) away as presents when I buy the newer versions? A. New electronic devices just shouldn’t come out as often. There, I said it! I know I’m on a tech blog and everything but like, how much difference between the iPhone 4 and the iPhone 5 can there REALLY be? (*appalled crickets*) Why are all our greatest tech-genius...
I sometimes get carded at R-rated movies, though.
Today I drove my parents to the airport and on the way back I drove through my old neighborhood, the one where I lived from ages 2 to 10, in Saint Paul. I didn’t drive down my street this time, though I often do when I’m in that area, just to check on the house that used to be my parents’ and before that, my grandfather’s. They’ve put in a backyard cement patio, I...
And now the ways to be annoying on Facebook (there...
10. Merge your account with the account of your new spouse. What’s next, sharing a bank account and a home? Fusing your DNA strands with your spouse’s DNA strands and creating new human beings? Do you people have to do EVERYTHING together? No, look: if you love each other so much that you no longer see the point in having your own Facebook accounts where you can keep in touch with your...
Q. “Is it okay to ask a stranger to watch your laptop in a coffee shop? Otherwise, what should you do when you have to pee? And can you tell somebody NO if they ask you, because you’ve got better things to watch, like a Rihanna music video?” A. “…Most people want to help each other out as long as it doesn’t take too much work, and what could be easier than...
G-chatting with my roommate!
K: Why is there a giant fake diamond ring sitting in your bowl of jelly beans?
K: (By the way, I went into your room and stole some of your jelly beans.)
R: Oh, just to make it look like treasure.
West Bank Story
On Sunday I graduated with my masters’ degree and, a few hours after the ceremony, went to our school’s informal grad party at a bar on the West Bank. I had a celebratory tequila shot in four (4) nauseating attempts, and it was pitiful. My friend who bought the round kept trying to tell me that this was nice tequila and that you should just sip it, but it was basically clear José...
People Still Struggling to Understand "Digital...
K: Do you have any questions for my tech column?
Little brother: How do I get my old laptop to work again?
K: No...like, etiquette questions. Or advice about using technology.
LB: ..."How do I tell someone I love them using a Rumba?"
Send YOUR questions (Rumba-based or otherwise) to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Manually RT-ing praise to “reply” to a follower/fan is the single most...– 11 Ways You’re Annoying On Twitter. I speculate wildly about what Genghis Khan would have been like on Twitter in this, but we all know it’s so true.
Q: What’s the proper protocol for making somebody a playlist or mix in the...– My column is never, ever based on personal experience.
Since U Been Gone
E: BASICALLY he told me he didn't really like me but felt like he led me on??
K: "Felt like," haha. That is EXACTLY what he was doing! How hard is it to cut off a dating sitch early on? NOT VERY!
E: IT'S REALLY FUCKING EASY.
K: Ugh. I wouldn't have expected any better from someone who bikes so goddamn much
E: People who have foot shaped running shoes are not to be trusted. It's over, anyway
K: Good riddance! I hope he runs his bike into a tree and then that tree comes to life and crushes him in its arms
E: I hope someone at REI gets so angry that they stab him with carabiners
K: Basically he deserves to die at the hands of something excruciatingly hipstery, like a vinyl GAYNGS album slicing off his head
E: Beard overgrowth infection
K: His beard eats his face and his toe shoes eat the rest of his body from the feet up
E: Ugh do you think mcds is still open?
This week on BuzzFeed FWD I answer just two... →
Always judge people-books by their covers, or...
I was listening to the episode of WTF with Chelsea Handler and finding myself actually kind of liking her, and that was surprising to me, and I was proud of myself for being able to change my feelings towards people like some very mature and thoughtful ADULT, and everything was going great, UNTIL Marc Maron pointed out how sexist it was that everyone always thinks Chelsea Handler slept her way to...
Whitney Cummings Is Not The Devil →
Damn you, sexists, for making me defend people I don’t even LIKE!
The only thing you need (?) to know about my night...
…is that I ended up in a Korean half-hair salon, half-karaoke bar (!) across town, with three friends from school (just three), and we paid for 2.5 hours of singing, and I scream-sang “Zombie” as well as a fair amount of early Britney Spears and Backstreet Boys. Even though I promised them I wouldn’t sing, even though I warned them all about my voice’s interesting...