July 2012
26 posts
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The How-To Issue: The How-To Issue →
the-how-to:
This weekend, the New York Times Book Review ran its how-to issue, which is a rather nifty idea. The cover of the How-To issue lists eight pieces, two of which are by women. The cover reads, in part, “Judith Warner on How to Raise Your Kids” and “Kate Christensen on How to Cook a Clam.”…
Yiiiiiiikes, NYTBR. If you are a woman and want to write a how-to piece about something...
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"What isn’t said is as important as what is said.... →
Reading articles/books about writing by writers is my favorite way to feel like I’m working when I’m not. Maybe it is working? I’m having a hard time, lately, deciding what IS and ISN’T work, because all of this is more fun than I feel it should be. (This is such an American thing to think, right?) I have to figure out how to manage my time better now that I make my own...
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Announcement!
Well, I have something that is very thrilling and unbelievable to tell you and that is that I have a book coming out. I’ve been working on it for what feels like both a long time and not a very long time at all and I’m so excited for it to come out in what feels like a VERY LONG TIME but will probably not feel very long at all. Time is confusing! Sometimes it goes by horribly slowly...
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Trains > Planes
Everyone in New York City, or perhaps everyone who lives in places where cars are less common and therefore road trips are less common, is FASCINATED by the fact that I took the train to get here. Everyone says this: “Twenty HOURS??” and I say yes, I know, and yes, it’s true, I’d probably fly instead if I weren’t scared, at least some of the time.
But I had fun on...
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Here is a post I wrote about Daniel Tosh and rape... →
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Q. “Is it better to try to take back an embarrassing drunk text by writing some sort of apology/excuse the next morning, or is it better to pretend it never happened and/or move to Siberia?”
A. “I think you should leave. I think you should put a hunk of bread and a hunk of cheese in a bandana, tie it to a stick, and start walking. (Important sidenote: why do bread and cheese...
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Male comics: this is not an issue of your oppression. You guys know that “thought police” isn’t a real thing, right? (I mean, not anymore—it was the first thing to go in the recession.) At no point in time will some shimmery grandpa-of-the-future say, ”When I was your age, Timmy, we had these things called ‘jokes.’ But then they came for our rape humor and...
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A version of the UFO story from my blog is on... →
Now including a reference to the time I sort of, kind of, whatever I’m not ashamed or at all concerned about how you perceive my sanity, MAYBE saw a UFO-type thing. How many more articles about these things do you think I need to publish before I can start calling myself a “ufologist”?
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”You know how in Beauty & the Beast there’s the light and dark paths? I want my room to be the dark path. Like foggy, but foggy-sexual. I want a circle velvet bed, and lights that dim as the music goes up. Also primate noises are playing. And there’s a naked man swinging on a vine across the room eating a banana. The banana is completely peeled.”
- last night my...
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Q. “I have a friend who is in the habit of texting me, and then when I respond very shortly after, I wait eons and eons (like, HOURS) for them to reply back to my response. Can I kill her?”
A. “Far be it from me to condone murder, or violence in any shape or form, which I am certainly against in every context without exception, but if your friend was walking alone through the...
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Me, I like the weeping willow fireworks best.
Our Fourth was too hot to even use the grill, so my friends and I had a “BBQ” that consisted of three boiled regular hot dogs and, for me, one microwaved veggie one. We also ate inside, at the table right next to our window A/C. We had an enormous and very delicious watermelon that Colleen and I had bought earlier in the day. She had carried it around the grocery store doing bicep...
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also I have heat madness
Remember in Harry Potter when everyone has to take turns wearing the Slytherin locket horcrux because it makes you think your worst thoughts and feel that nothing will ever be okay ever again? (And remember, too, in the movie version, how they made Ron imagine naked Harry & Hermione having sex while he was wearing the locket and you were like “YIKES, TOO SEXY/CREEPY FOR THIS YOUNG...
