April 2012
37 posts
Things My Best Friend Has Said to Me in the Past 24 Hours
“No one can see a private blog post, right?”
“Would it work if I pulled my dress down BELOW my bra, if I button my jean jacket over it?”
“I have a weird song in my head. ‘Nobody Knows the Trouble I’ve Seen,’ from Lion King.”
“I thought you were going to just come chat with me after class, like girlfriends do.”
“We both have zits in the same place, but yours is closer to your mouth.”
“If you win an award for your thesis, I am going to shoot you.”
“Don’t get mad, but you would get to meet more people if you left the house more.”
And then, in a handwritten note because I was crying with my Darth Vader doll (…WHAT, it was about other things, not her, and he’s a really good shape for comforting), “Never give up. Never let go … <3, Jack.”
Reassurance
- K: I am never ever ever going to make any money, ever.
- R: Some people have to wait years and years and years before they sell books. Even Mindy Kaling, when she had to just go out to L.A ...
- K: New York.
- R: ... New York, and ... do whatever! She made it.
- K: You have no idea what you're talking about.
- R: I'm just saying that sometimes things become worth way more money after the person who made them has died.
- K: So I should just wait until I'm dead.
- R: No! I mean probably later on in life, J.K. Rowling is going to find your book in your desk, and she'll be like "what?? how isn't this sold??" and then she'll help you sell it. When you're 80.
- K: Why is she going through my things? How old will she be then?
- R: I don't know. She's ageless. And then you'll make a fortune, and give half of it to me, and I'll become a model.
- K: At 80.
- R: Times will be different then.
The Ministry for Boyfriend Review →
thehairpin.com
Chiara Atik and I made friends because of The Hairpin and we wrote this quiz up together because we found out that we both self-identify as Judgmental Best Friends. Take it!
I AM SORT OF SICK
of TV shows where the ENTIRE COMEDY of the thing revolves around the female character (or the female characters) being regularly humiliated, or having to have bad sex with her asshole boyfriend whom she stays with for no goddamn reason, or being nasty to her female friends at every turn, or being socially inappropriate, or being clumsy, or eating a lot (LOL), or being wildly irresponsible with her money, or being an entitled brat. Women sometimes have these characteristics (I have at least two!) but no single one of them makes a woman or speaks to a whole person’s character and on TV these markers are used that way ALL THE TIME to be like, “Well hey, this woman is unique.” And I guess it is just no longer revolutionary to me to point out that yes, women get treated like shit by men sometimes and haha, it’s so funny that we still date them anyway. That’s just life, right? (No! Not always! And it certainly isn’t everything!) I mean, jesus, my friends and I have had our fair share of poor decisions but nobody sits around reveling in them and what’s funny about it isn’t that it happens and we put up with it, but that we realize it afterward, having left and moved on. Or something! I don’t know! It just makes me mad!
AND THAT is why I don’t think I would like Girls, even though I haven’t seen it yet.
“The Republican-American of Waterbury reports that a person driving in Litchfield at about 2 a.m. Tuesday reported that a green, glowing object the size of a whale fell from the sky and crashed into Bantam Lake.”
—Mystery object seen in sky revealed
So many things to love about this quote and this story! 1) The inclusion of his political affiliation! 2) The use of a whale for comparison size! (What TYPE of whale, though??) 3) The fact that the article reports that this was “a meteor shower.”
I mean, come on. How many glowing green meteors do you really see these days? *X-Files theme music*
Our Emoticons, Ourselves: An Interview With The Inventor Of The Internet Smiley →
buzzfeed.com
I am really excited about this thing that I wrote for BuzzFeed, just posted today! I was writing a piece for them about emoticons and so I just decided to email the inventor of the Internet smiley with some questions, and he responded right away with amazing answers! It was like a proper interview! Most important of all: he agrees with me that you should never use equal signs for your emoticon eyes, under pain of death. His words! Practically.
Cougar Town Recap: A Severed Toe is Always the First Sign of Trouble →
vulture.com
Cougar Town came back last night and I was like: “eh.” Is there anything worse than feeling unable to love a show that you once loved a whole lot? I mean, yes, obviously. But only barely.
