shut up. tell me. by katie heaney.

Apr 11


You’re coming to this show, right?

I’ll be seeing it for the fifth time I think!


You’re coming to this show, right?

I’ll be seeing it for the fifth time I think!

Apr 10


Mar 28


(Haha, ok.)

Yesterday I gchatted Chiara “I’m depressed about UFOs,” which did not exactly mean I was sad about them but a little disappointed on their behalf, maybe, or mine, because very few people care about them. It first came up with this picture, which I dropped in my work chatroom, and nobody said anything, and then later people left. It was probably because it was lunch time, but still. Then I tried to show the link (it was just a GOOD one, okay? Like you just do not get a lot of decent UFO pictures to look at and I thought this one was worth it) to another one of my friends, and he said “I don’t care about UFOs,” and I was like “Well I don’t care about stupid cats and you talk about them literally constantly, so.” So then we reached an impasse. 

This led me to despair to ANOTHER friend, who said she thinks there are so many other “real” mysteries to care about, so why would anyone smart invest mental space in UFOs? (Which, well, lots of reasons, including that they are fucking cool, but also: people believe in and think about and get very very into all kinds of unlikely things, and that is one thing I really like about them.) But anyway I said to me it IS a real mystery, or at least real-ish, or at least something I love. I don’t care almost ever if it’s just me, but sometimes I want someone else to just look at a picture and say “What!! Oh my god??? What IS this object with beautiful lights?!?!?” and then I’ll be like “I KNOW WTF!” 

The other day Chiara linked me to this video stream of an eagle’s nest, which she’s started watching again lately because the babies are about to hatch. She’s been checking in on these eagles forever, and she wrote about why she loves them in 2011. Anyway, she’s been tweeting about them a lot in the past few days: how cute-ugly the babies will be, how big and weird their feet are. This is what she gchatted to me this morning.

Chiara: if it makes you feel better
my twitter feed
could not care less
meabout the eagles?
Chiara: yes.
but you know what, Katie?
I am undaunted.
me: good

Mar 26

59 Things Jake Johnson Smells Like -

I met him last night, it changed everything.

Mar 23

Today after a book event I had in Boston a man came up to the table where I was signing books and told me a very long four-part joke about a man who finds a talking girl frog. (I don’t know!)

The girl frog keeps begging the man to kiss her so she can be human, and with each round her promises to him escalate. She’ll be beautiful, a princess, she’ll love him only, she’ll do whatever he wants. The man keeps saying no but also putting her back in his pocket. Finally she asks why he keeps her if he doesn’t want to be with her and he says that as an engineer he’s too busy for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is too interesting to set free. So he puts her back in his pocket.

!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK ??????

Anyway afterward the man looked at me smiling and clearly expecting me to laugh and instead my face looked like this: