This picture is a reenactment of the time I was a senior in college living in a cute little house with three of my best friends and I went to take out the garbage at night after a thunderstorm and lifted the lid only to realize that it was covered — completely covered — in crawling maggots. The reason I did not notice them at first is that the lid was so thoroughly covered in maggots that it was like they formed a solid new layer. I screamed and flung it like a frisbee into the driveway.
When I stayed in her apartment this weekend, sharing her double bed, my friend Joyce reminded me of this horrible event. Joyce was my first roommate in college, and the person I’d live with for most of our time there, and when we shared a bunk bed we used to talk for upwards of an hour after turning out the lights. Generally speaking we talked about things we found really disgusting. Joyce is a med student so this has always been her forte. Staying with her now, nine years later, was kind of like that again. We turned out the lights and ended up talking about maggots for probably an hour.
It turns out that maggots are baby flies, and I did not know that until literally three nights ago. That sounds really dumb probably, but I don’t have an explanation. I just thought they were their own separate, horrible animal. Maggots are the absolute worst animal on the planet!!! But anyway Joyce told me that maggots are baby flies, and I was somehow shocked. She also told me some facts about tape worm removal that I am not going to repeat here because I care about you. Also sorry about the drawing, I don’t know why I put my elbow all the way down there, or why my hand is a hook.
Reading Between The Texts: Sexting, Sort Of. (?) -
The Texts B: Dinner this week? Him: I didnt think i would hear from you again.. haha, Im availble early next week B: You need to have more self-confidence boy! Him: haha
ok, Shakira’s tumblr.
Someone I sit next to at work was looking up pictures of hot lumberjacks today for reasons I won’t get into, and she asked if I wanted to help. An easy yes! Anyway, I found the Pinterest page of a young woman who is apparently a lumberjack enthusiast and the first thing I saw was this picture of this ludicrously hot man and I think I fell in love with him. I am pretty sure he is the best looking person I have ever seen in my whole life? Just in a really unassailable, objective way. I know this because I showed the people sitting by me and they were like “whoa,” and then I gchatted the link to three different girls and this is what they said:
R: he’s smiling at ME