Chiara: good lord
me: who is that
me: where is he this second
me: is this the first time we’ve ever reflexively reacted this way to the same man
me: how were his bones formed
Chiara: no that one guy
Chiara: who was so hot
Chiara: that you found that one time
me: oh yeah
me: oh yeah.
One of my favorite types of bonding is the kind done with strangers over simply being near each other in a public place. Mostly this happens in a restaurant (like if your table is near theirs but near BOTH of your tables is another one with a really annoying baby) or on the elevator (like if you try, you swear you tried, to hold the door open for someone but it closes anyway, so you say to the person inside with you, “You saw I tried, right?” and they’re like “You did your best.”) or in a store (like if you accidentally pull a whole thing of pens off the hook and are like “What the heck!” and someone near you is like “haha omg that always happens” and you’re like “I know!!!”). Sometimes it also happens in a bar bathroom, when you’re flushed drunk and you tell a girl you love her shoes and you’d buy them if only you could wear heels, and she yells that “you SHOULD.”
Anyway, this thing, this type of meeting, is one of my favorites, and I become very suspicious of anyone who doesn’t reciprocate when I provide the entry point. Like today: I was in my office snack room and I poured some chocolate almonds into my hand and THEN into a dish for some reason, and they went all over and I said, partly because I sometimes talk to myself but largely because there was another girl in there, “Why am I doing this this way?” and then she just walked out! Can you believe that? Anyone who refuses to briefly bond with me in public over something like that is briefly my enemy instead.
How To Make Friends In Middle School -
Here is an excerpt of my book on BuzzFeed! In the middle of it there is a picture of me as a very small seventh-grader dressed TOO FANCILY for middle school Halloween levels. Too much effort!! Not cool!!!!!!