Q. “Is it completely inappropriate to ask my best friend to stop inviting people I don’t ever want to see again (read: exes) to parties she’s hosting? I get that when it’s a mass Facebook invite, it’s too much to ask that certain people be excluded for my sake, but when the event invite list is already selective, not inviting people she’s not that close to, and who will just make things uncomfortable for me, doesn’t seem like that much of a stretch.”
A. “What you could really benefit from, in this scenario, is a Land Before Time-type seismic shift in the Earth, such that your exes are all on one side of the ravine and you and your friends are on the other. That way your friend couldn’t even invite them to your Great Valley parties if she wanted to, first because they can’t cross the ravine, and second because they will later be eaten by Sharptooths. Do you think you could have something like that arranged? I’ll see if I can pull some strings.
You are mostly right when you say that your request might be too much to ask for mass Facebook invites, though I think a really good best friend would carefully go through and unselect exes in that case too. You’re absolutely right that it is not much of a stretch for your BEST FRIEND, who you say isn’t even close to these exes, to not Facebook invite them (or invite them at all) to smaller parties. I am of the opinion that best friends are supposed to treat your bad exes as though they are dead. You can’t invite dead people to your parties unless you want to make your other guests anxious and a little grossed out.”
- More from my FWD column here.