BUT ACTUALLY one last thing, which is that last night I posted this picture to Twitter and called it my “thinkpiece” on the topic — as a response to this piece in particular but also, more so, the vault it belongs to, the asking over and over and over and over again whether “women can have it all,” and also just as a joke about … thinkpieces — and mostly that was completely fine, save for ONE LONE AND BRAVE MAN, who tweeted at me to say “congratulations on being successfully trolled.”
And the same man tweeted again, today, at other women I follow, when they protested a slideshow published by Complex called “The 40 Hottest Women in Tech,” LITERALLY days after events that brought sexism in tech (which, spoiler: IT’S THERE, everyone can see it, everyone with eyeballs) to the internet surface yet again. Again, this asshole says, “This is obvious trolling.”
But, actually, fuck that guy. Because these things — especially the Complex slideshow — are not trolling. These are popular refrains of the patriarchy that are ALWAYS there, ALWAYS regurgitating themselves, ALWAYS objectifying and judging and holding down and back and limiting and otherizing. You do not, as a person NOT BELONGING to the group experiencing the prejudice, get to tell me or anybody else belonging to the group how to respond to it. You don’t get to tell us to ignore it and it will go away, because we know better than you, and no, it fucking won’t. The things that get into our sides aren’t always predictable and sometimes they may seem small but they are only just the straw or the tip or whatever little item that sits on top of a deluge. Women on Twitter (and the internet at large) take that shit OVER, and rant, and joke, and cut it down, and it’s the only thing that makes it tolerable for us when it happens and happens and happens again. If you are trying to take that away or say that it is wrong to do, you are part of the problem.