“2) Birth control pills. NO. They will make me fat; they will make me “spot” (another thing I squeamishly just DON’T LIKE TALKING ABOUT; don’t worry, though, everyone else who works here does); they will give me acne; and quite frankly, they will NOT prevent me from getting pregnant! I know this because IT HAPPENED TO ME™. No, I didn’t take my pills right; I forget things like this unless they are FUN pills, or what I BELIEVE, delusionally, to be a “fun” pill at the time; anyway, the point is, unless a pill gets me speedy or doped up as all hell I will NOT remember to take it, and then I will get pregnant! I JUST WILL. (IHTM™.) 3) The Depo-Provera Shot. Uh-huh. Same concept as the pills, if you get my drift. Egads, but it’s true. 4) Condoms. Nope! As if. I don’t know. I don’t sleep with that many people and so I just don’t do condoms! ARG I HATE TALKING ABOUT MY SEX LIFE; LET’S END THIS.”
Shit like this makes me VIRULENTLY angry because this is the product of our failure to educate people on sex and birth control.
When I was in college and involved with the Feminist Majority Leadership Alliance, we brought these teen volunteers from Planned Parenthood to campus to host an information table called “Spring Break Safety” to get everyone ready to go for their/our spring break escapades, and they basically taught everyone 3-5 years older than they were everything we should have always known about birth control. They were amazing.
If you’re an ignorant and irresponsible person who plans to write an article about birth control anyway, talk to literally anyone who has volunteered or worked for Planned Parenthood and s/he will gladly inform you that yes, having sex while taking the birth control pill incorrectly CAN get you pregnant (no fucking way!) and no, “not having sex with that many people” is not a reason to shun condoms and that Plan B is called Plan B for a reason.