Last night I went downstairs to my friends’ apartment allegedly to study but actually to read InStyle and talk about things like whether or not we “get” Eva Mendes and how pretty Scarlett Johansson is but that we hate her and that Cate Blanchett is literally flawless and nobody could ever be better. These friends are 30 and 28, and the 30 year-old is already married, but we looked up engagement rings online anyway and argued about which cuts are and are not acceptable. (JK - anything is acceptable. Even a ring-shaped piece of limestone or granite.) And then I showed them my old dream wedding dress, which is Kevin Costner’s wife’s wedding dress that I saw in InStyle in 2004 and tore out and taped to the inside of my closet, which I say is acceptable because I was 17 then.

Ooooooh.

My dream wedding dress is different now (um, a little smaller, not strapless) but I still have the picture because, look how pretty. I mean, roses made of wedding dress.

Anyway, then Rylee came downstairs crying because she had a fight with her boyfriend and she was worrying and I said “don’t be worried, he is so much better than all your other boyfriends,” because he is, he’s really great. And then we all listed all the worst boys we’ve ever liked (see: several potential gay guys, man who only wore camouflage, Russian philosopher named Maxime, man who wore a bathrobe as a winter coat (!!!)) and laughed a lot until Rylee stopped crying and that is why I love girlfriends.

The Ministry for Boyfriend Review

Chiara Atik and I made friends because of The Hairpin and we wrote this quiz up together because we found out that we both self-identify as Judgmental Best Friends. Take it!