Top 7 Ways to Keep Your Cool Around Really Ridiculously Good-Looking People

Today on Glamour…this is from me to you, the helpless masses.

Just kidding. I can’t help you. Save yourselves!

Glamourrrrr blogging.

I’m blogging at Glamour’s Smitten column today and tomorrow, so check it out! The first post is linked up there, but there will also be like a MILLION more because I am well-known as a dating and relationships expert. Like pretty much the top expert of all the experts. 

Breakup Bunkers For Rent

My no-longer-top-secret invention.

The Ministry for Boyfriend Review

Chiara Atik and I made friends because of The Hairpin and we wrote this quiz up together because we found out that we both self-identify as Judgmental Best Friends. Take it!

Since U Been Gone

  • E: BASICALLY he told me he didn't really like me but felt like he led me on??
  • K: "Felt like," haha. That is EXACTLY what he was doing! How hard is it to cut off a dating sitch early on? NOT VERY!
  • E: IT'S REALLY FUCKING EASY.
  • E: Whatever
  • K: Ugh. I wouldn't have expected any better from someone who bikes so goddamn much
  • E: People who have foot shaped running shoes are not to be trusted. It's over, anyway
  • K: Good riddance! I hope he runs his bike into a tree and then that tree comes to life and crushes him in its arms
  • E: I hope someone at REI gets so angry that they stab him with carabiners
  • K: Basically he deserves to die at the hands of something excruciatingly hipstery, like a vinyl GAYNGS album slicing off his head
  • E: Beard overgrowth infection
  • K: His beard eats his face and his toe shoes eat the rest of his body from the feet up
  • E: Ugh do you think mcds is still open?